CHAPTER FIVE:

I pondered for a moment. It felt good to be back in first person again.

"Andi," I said, "I've been to AU once today. It's the BOOZER-ON. It's not going to be pretty." I took a deep breath. "We're going to need backup."

"You mean…?" Andi said.

I nodded.

"You mean…?"

I nodded again.

She stood up. "Well, I'm going with you."

I shook my head.

"But they're…"

I shrugged. Then I made motions like a man trapped in a box, to show how limited our options were. She looked away and bit her lip. "You're right, of course. But be careful." She put a hand on my shoulder. "A mime is a terrible thing to waste."

***

Meen Street is a tough part of town, but the area known as Tart City makes it look like Mayberry. All the street lights had been broken years ago and the only illumination in the narrow streets was provided by the cheap neon signs advertising liquor stores, cheap motels, and places selling smuggled tax-free cigarettes by the carton. As I drove the Volvo down Route 66 towards the roadhouse known as Mom's, I could feel the eyes upon me: hard, knowing eyes, eyes that had been there, done that, and had exact change for all the tollbooths.

I found Katy at a table in the back, her thigh-high boots propped up on a table, knocking back shots of Jose Cuervo and reading a book. I looked at the title. It was something called 'Skeleton Key.' She was wearing tight blue jeans and black T-shirt with white letters that said THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL ME HAD BETTER RUN LIKE HELL AFTERWARDS. There was an ancient bloodhound lying by the table. He opened a bleary eye at me, thumped his tail one time in recognition, then rolled on his back and went back to sleep.

"Vic Salem," she said as she spied me. Despite the empty Cuervo bottles littering the table, her speech was as clear as if she'd been drinking buttermilk. "To what do I owe the honor?" she asked as she lit a cigarette with a five-dollar bill.

"Katy," I said, "I need your help."

She chuckled and brushed a lock of her long, dark hair away from her face. She sat forward and little ways and grimaced. "Leg cramp." She worked her leg back and forth as she looked at me. 

"So you need my help again," she said finally. "No surprises there. What's the play this time?"

"Andi and I have a meeting set up. It may be dangerous and I need backup."

She slammed back another shot. The dog snuffled and twitched in his sleep. "When?"

"Tonight."

"Where?"

"AU."

She snorted. "What, THAT Sunday school? Whyn't you give me something HARD to do?"

"It's BOOZER-ON," I reminded her.

"Oh, good. I'll bring a friend." Katy pulled out a cell phone and started dialing. "You'll like Carleen. She's a librarian."

She spoke into the phone for a few moments, then turned back to me. "We'll pick her up at her place. Let's go."

"Hey," I said, indicating the book she had been reading. "Can I borrow that when you're finished?"

She looked at me sorrowfully. "Frankly, my dear," she said, "I don't give Haddam."

"Are you sure that's how you pronounce it?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I'd look it up, but we're out of time," she said. She turned to the dog, who was still twitching. "C'mon, Cooter," she said. We got into the car and I popped a cassette into the balky tape player. A familiar blues riff ripped out of the crackly speakers. "George Thorogood," Katy said approvingly. "Excellent."

***

Carleen proved to be a striking redhead in a black trenchcoat. Katy and the dog took the back seat, leaving Carleen up front with me as we drove back to Meen street. I tried to make small talk.

"Librarian, eh?" I said. "You ever meet an agent name of Sue Kelso?"

Carleen turned to me, her green eyes fixing me like twin lasers. "What was that name again?"

I felt uneasy. "Kelso. She said she was a grade two agent. I ran into her earlier today, and I thought you might…"

"Turn left here," she interrupted me. "I need to pick something up."

"What's up, Carleen?" Katy asked from the back seat.

She shook her head. "Nothing. I just…forgot something. Turn right here, then left." She continued to give me directions until we pulled up in front of the bus station. Carleen took something out of her handbag. It looked like a locker key. "Wait here." She got out and ran towards the bus station, her beautiful gams drawing more than a few male stares and a couple of wolf whistles. One guy stepped forward to try to block Carleen's path, making little kissy noises with his lips and saying something obscene in Spanish. A moment later he was writhing on the ground, clutching at his midsection.

Katy shook her head. "He shouldn't have rushed her like that. Now he's gonna need a new spleen."

"I think you can live without a spleen," I said.

'Don't get off topic," she snapped.

"Right, I replied. Sorry." I gestured toward Carleen, who was just entering the front door of the bus station. "What's going on, Katy?" I asked.

Katy shook her head. "I don't know. Something about that name set her off."

After a few moments, Carleen emerged from the bus station, carrying a tattered brown gym bag. This time, the men gave her a wide berth. She opened the back door and tossed the bag in beside Katy before getting back into the front seat. The bag clanked heavily as it landed on the back floorboard. "Sorry to make you wait," she mumbled.

I looked back at Katy. She just shrugged and looked out the window. I was puzzled, but I put the car n gear and pulled away. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Carleen silently mouth the name "Kelso."

We pulled up outside of AU, which seemed to be in a state of near-riot. That meant the party hadn't really gotten going yet. On a night when it's really hopping, AU sounds like the Apocalypse being played in fast-motion through a stack of Marshall guitar amps, with the Four Horsemen doing backup vocals. Andi peeled herself off a nearby lamppost and came over to the car. She leaned in the window and nodded to Katy, who nodded back.

"They're in there," she said.

"You mean…?" I said.

Andi nodded.

"You mean….?" Katy said.

I nodded.

"What the hell DO you mean?" Carleen asked.

We all looked at each other.

"I thought you knew," I told Andi.

"I thought YOU did," she said.

"Oh, for Chrissakes," Carleen said. She slung the gym-bag over her shoulder. "Let's go."

Walking into AU was like walking into the exhaust of a jet engine: loud, hot and sure to lead to extensive plastic surgery in the long run. I suddenly noticed the figures of Rhoades and Cale in the crowd. I motioned to Andi. "This could be trouble." I didn't see their cousin anywhere. Katy and Carleen fanned out to either side of us, guarding our flanks and looking for clear fields of fire.

At that moment, the song on the jukebox ended and the crowd reached one of those eerie moments where every conversation pauses at once. In the sudden lull, I heard the unmistakable click of a crossbow being cocked. The sound came from behind us.

"Ooops," I said.

The jukebox started again. Ironically, the next song was 'Won't Get Fooled Again.'

"Who's Next," I said.